This story is the beginning of what I hope to be a wildly successful venture. Hopefully my daily musings and rantings about slogging through day to day as I TRY to lose weight will inspire someone else to try to reach their own goals.
BACK STORY: I was a size 5 in high school in the 80s. Thought I was fat. Yeah. I know. Weighed about 130ish in 1993 when I got married. Thought I was fat. Again, yeah. I know. Was pregnant a portion of every year from 1996 to 2001 so those years do not count at all. Around 2004-ish I decided the baby weight wasn’t going to fall off. A long overdue decision considering that the “baby” was 3, and I was 184 pounds. I got my ass in gear and worked it off. Literally. I lost about 30 pounds using a vitamin and shake system called Herbalife and tons of exercise. There was some starvation and tears involved too. I plateaued, and my doc prescribed a weight loss drug called Meridia. It worked well, and I got down to 135 pounds. Meridia was taken off the market in 2010. Oddly even though I was size 8 and didn’t even recognize myself in pictures, I still wasn’t happy. I wanted to be a size 6. I didn’t get there. In 2007 our life situation changed, and I stopped exercising and started eating more. I had a hysterectomy and a broken foot back-to-back. I also went from having an extremely active job to a sedentary job. I steadily gained weight.
I hit the over 200 pounds mark a few years ago. I knew I had to make changes but just couldn’t get myself in the right mindset to do so. I couldn’t handle the idea of failing, which I just knew I would. I had never before lost weight without some sort of weight loss system or pill, and I know from experience that they are not long-term solutions. In late 2015, after my sister died, I did have some grief-induced weight loss of about 15 pounds. Tried to use that as a jump-start to purposefully losing weight, but I still wasn’t in the right mindset and I was still actively grieving. In July of 2016 I jumped up to my highest weight ever of 220 pounds. Sometime late in 2016 I managed to get myself off of drinking full-sugar soda. I had expected the weight to melt off once I eliminated that sugar from my diet. That didn’t happen. You can read about that experience here.
I should also bring up diabetes. Now, I’ve never been diagnosed as even pre-diabetic except when I was pregnant, but I’ve always been hypoglycemic…meaning that I have to be very careful what I eat and when. If I eat certain things in the morning, like simple grains and sugars, my body floods with insulin and my blood sugar bottoms out. Since I’ve been so heavy, those blood sugar crashes have been happening more often and with more types of foods. I haven’t been to the doctor in about three years (yeah, yeah, yeah I know…I’ll get there), but I’m pretty sure I was headed towards Type II diabetes if I remained on the same path.
Since I’ve been drinking nothing but water and have not had so much sugar I’ve seen a gradual improvement in how I feel. My mind is clearer. I have more energy, especially mid-day. On January 1, 2017 I used my elliptical for the first time in a few years. I lasted 5 minutes. And I was SO proud of myself! Deservedly so. Five minutes of intentional exercise is a damn big deal when you are over 200 pounds and haven’t exercised in years. Granted, I did only use the elliptical a couple more times in January, but that little bit of effort helped give me the push I needed to make even bigger changes.
With the fear of pending diabetes on my mind, I looked up how much added sugar is okay. I found out that it’s recommended that women have no more than 25 g of added sugar a day. Holy crap. My favorite “healthy” protein drink had 20 g of sugar!! I decided to see what would happen if I tried to limit added sugar.
Now, this was not an easy effort for me. I’ve NEVER been one that is able to limit anything in my diet. If I crave it, I eat it. I don’t like vegetables. I barely like fruit. I LOVE meat. I could marry bread and pasta. And sugar? Pretty much my soulmate. Mr. Google told me that natural sugars in fruits are okay. So I set out reading labels and figuring this complicated world of food and nutrition out. I even at four baby carrots! Four!
I’ve tried a few times over the years to use an app on my iPhone called Lose It! to log food and exercise. There’s a website too — www.loseit.com. Just FYI – I’m not an affiliate of LoseIt. I just like it. Well, I like it for it’s purpose. I would prefer to be one of those skinny bitches who doesn’t have to keep track of calories and whatnot but here we are. Anyhoo, on January 30, 2017 I logged the food I ate and the little bit of exercise I did. I have the app set at a goal of losing a 1/2 pound a week so it’s not so challenging to stay within my goal. I logged for the next four days. Then I fell of the wagon, but it only took me a few days to get the gumption to try again.
On February 5, 2017 I started logging again and have logged everyday since. I weighed myself for the first time since September 29, 2016 when I weighed in at 220 pounds. This time I weighed in at 216. Ok, whew. Down a little bit. For the last 14 days I’ve been logging food, limiting added sugar, and exercising a little. I’ve had a couple of not-so-great days, but a lot of good days. I’m currently at 208.5 pounds which is down 7.5 lb since I’ve been actively trying and down 11.5 overall.
I will be using this blog as a daily journal. I’ll post the week’s journal once a week. I’ll shoot for Fridays since that’s my “official” weigh-in day. Losing weight has been my biggest mental roadblock for years. Just the fact that I’m trying is a ginormous undertaking for me. My hope is that someone will see what I’m trying and be inspired to take on their own ginormous undertaking!
All posts specifically related to my efforts to be as skinny as I was when I first thought I was fat can be found under the category of Weight Loss within this blog.